The Christmas Visit

“Then the KING will say to those on HIS right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you VISITED me.’ ” Matthew 25:34-36 New living Translation

One of the ultimate things to do at Christmas is visiting. Not just on Christmas day but during the entire holiday season. I confess it is one of my passions all year but at Christmastime the need is especially felt by those who may not have family close by or who are sick or lonely or behind bars. The suicide rate skyrockets during the holiday season. People feel cut off and insignificant.

Years ago, I had the privilege to visit prisons at Christmastime. The joy on the inmates’ faces to be remembered at this special time of year was unmistakable. Some prisoners had gone years without anyone visiting. I remember one inmate whom a visitor bought a sandwich for his lunch. He wanted it heated, but because he was in prison so long, he didn’t know how to use a microwave oven. He never had the opportunity to use one. Think about that for a moment. . .

A prisoner spends some quality time with his wife on a speical family visit day around Chirstmas time. HMP/YOI Portland, Dorset, United Kingdom.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the frenzy of Christmas preparation and detail. I struggle with it too but Christmas comes down to people. Jesus came as a baby so long ago to save the people whom His Father loved. God the Father and His Son, Jesus, loved each of us enough to spend time with us. Jesus in physical form and the Father through His precious Holy Spirit who we have today in our hearts if we’ve accepted Him.

Jesus is Emmanuel, God with us. Christ in us, the hope of Glory! (Colossians 1:27) So what better way than to let Him shine out of our hearts to those around us. We love others because He has enough love for us and them. So we share our love with them because of Him. When we experience His great love we should desire to share this magnificence with all we meet and certainly, at least those closest to us.

So today I want to encourage you if you haven’t yet planned a visit as part of your holiday agenda, it’s not too late. People need the love we have to give. Don’t be afraid to share it. Whether its an inmate, the elderly, a difficult relative, an old friend or a stranger— Jesus says we should reach out and share His love with them. It will mean more than you can fathom.

“And the KING will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these My brothers and sisters, you were doing it to Me!’ ” Matthew 25:41 New Living Translation

Shine On. . .
karan k

Loneliness and The Dating Game Part II: TipTop

The Dating Game Who’s Who: Lee Majors appeared on The Dating Game and was chosen for the date on October 7, 1967.

This series more than most is coming out of my Life Coaching experiences. I pursued Life Coaching certification in 2011 because as a young adult I had no one to help me navigate the simple or the complex issues of life. I wanted to learn how to be that person others could turn to for help in achieving their highest potential and personal goals.

Loneliness is a problematic issue I truly wish no one had. I struggled with it for many years. My hope is to share what helped me overcome it so you too can have a better FLURISHING life.

So what has God revealed to your heart the last few days about yourself? Any new revelations? Continue asking Him and keep a written log of what He tells you. In the meantime lets do a physical evaluation.

How Dateable Are You?

Starting at the top:
HAIR— If you have some, are you making the most of it? Your hair is part of everyone’s overall attractiveness, especially women.

“Don’t you agree there is something naturally powerful in the symbolism—-a woman, her beautiful hair reminiscent of angels, praying in adoration; a man, his head bared in reverence, praying in submission?” I Corinthians 11:13-15 The Message Bible

Take care of your hair. Usually it’s the first thing a person sees about your face because it covers a larger area than eyes or lips. Duh. Keep it clean, keep it neat. Do you need a trip to the hair dresser? Perhaps a new or updated style? Maybe you need to try something completely different?

A note to guys: So what if you don’t have much hair? Shaving it off is only good if you have the right shape head and face for it. If you opt for facial hair keep it trimmed, few women like the out of control wiry hair that scratches our delicate skin.:) Like us girls you may also want to try some new looks?

To do this in an inexpensive and noncommittal way, try an app. There are countless apps out there, some free, some only 99 cents. You can use a photo of yourself to superimpose different styles, lengths and hair colors on your face. Men can even try on various facial hair styles. Possibilities are endless and it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.

Pick out a few styles you like and check with a trusted friend or relative OR send them to me and I’ll give you my take on them. Hair can be very personal so do a thorough study of your likes and dislikes. After you choose one, make an appointment for positive change. Don’t be afraid of change, it can be adventurous and exciting.

Don’t stay stuck in a hair rut just because it’s easy. Trust me, I understand wanting an easy-care style but if it doesn’t frame your face well it’s not doing you any favors. Plus a tired style can make you look dated and in some cases a lot older than you actually are. Yikes! Who wants to look older? No one over the age of 25.

A new style my take more effort but seeking a relationship also requires effort so think of yourself as “in training” for your future. You have to decide if easy is more important than improving your appearance to attract some positive attention.

Also, consider your skin tone when choosing hair color. I know some women over 50 who look fabulous in their natural silvery gray or white hair. What a huge money saving blessing. Unfortunately I am not one of them. My skin is so fair that gray or white hair makes me look pale to the point of appearing ill. So my hair dresser dyes my hair as close to my natural color as possible which right now looks best on me.

Maybe you have a great current hair cut but the hair itself is drab? Perhaps a new styling product is all that’s needed? Something to tame frizzies or bring back shine and sheen. Ask your stylist for recommendations for your specific hair type and style.

Whatever changes you decide to try, make the most of what you’ve got on the top. Do not underestimate the power of your hair!

Jennifer Aniston is one of my favorite older beauties but even she needs makeup

Moving on from the crown of our heads to our faces: What is your best feature? Your eyes? Your skin? Your lips? Use make up to enhance your best features. If you’re like me and not good with make up, try a free makeover at a Clinique or Sephora counter at the mall or somewhere similar to get tips. And the golden rule of make up is always LESS IS MORE. Go for a natural look as much as possible.

More can totally be Gore!

So Stay tuned as we continue the journey to FLURISH in the dating Game.

Shine on. . .
karan k

Loneliness and The Dating Game

If you you are a Baby Boomer you probably remember the original Dating Game show with host Jim Lange which ran from 1965-1973. Younger folks may be familiar as well since it ran as reruns in syndication into the year 2000.

I loved this show as a kid and watched it everyday during the summer when school was out. I learned a lot from the show about things I was too young to understand and perhaps should not have been exposed to, if you get my drift. Such shows intrigued me.

I had an intense desire to know how to get a guy to love me for a lifetime. So I also watched the Newlywed game. This show ran from 1966 to 1974 originally and then several times thereafter. Bob Eubanks hosted for the majority of the runs.
I enjoyed these shows but also watched to glean as much information as possible. I’d note which things worked and which did not.

UNITED STATES – AUGUST 13: THE NEWLYWED GAME – 1970 – Bob Eubanks, host (Photo by ABC Photo Archives/ABC via Getty Images)

Perhaps you find yourself in the “Dating Game” of life? How’s it going? Are you finding good results or spinning your wheels in the same old rut?

As a teenager I focussed on outward appearance. My own and whoever I happened to be interested in at the time. Ah youth and its follies. Of course I learned I needed to become a well-rounded person on the inside as well as the outside. That can take a lifetime for some of us. So what to do in the meantime?

Let’s explore this in the next few posts and see where it takes us. Join me if you need to find a date, a mate or are just curious.

Loneliness is no joke. It’s one of the biggest problems facing people today. If you are lonely, ironically you are not alone. BUT don’t accept loneliness as your lot in life. We were created for relationship. (See Genesis 2:18)

To begin, ask God to help you see yourself as He does, lovingly but realistically. Pray for that everyday until we meet back here next time.

“Love should always make us tell the truth. Then we will grow in every way and be more like Christ, the head.” Ephesians 4:15 Contemporary English Version

Shine on. . .
karan k

Labor of Love: Part IV

Someone I know is currently making their way back into the workforce after a hiatus to care for a loved one. During their recent job search they ran up against an unforeseen problem repeatedly at different companies for various positions. They felt discriminated against. The problem? they were not bilingual.

Should this be a requirement for employment even if the position does not specifically involve bilingual communication?

In my opinion the answer is NO. But that is only my opinion.

Furthermore, from my position working with traffic I see people everyday who cannot speak English driving tractor trailers. . . a highly dangerous situation. How do they read the road signs? Why are they not required to be bilingual and speak English? How did they get a license at the DMV in the U.S.?

This inquiring mind is almost afraid to ask!

Did you know the United States has no official language? I’ve always assumed it was English. Perhaps you did as well? But that is not the case. Almost every session of Congress includes an amendment to make English the official language of the U.S. but as of this date there is no official language for “we the people”.

There remains no official language on the books at the federal level, however, 27 states have adopted legislation granting official status to English in what has been called the English-Only movement. 27 states have existing official language laws on their books : Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, North Carolina, North dakota, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia and Wyoming.

There are also states with English-Plus resolutions passed. The English-Plus movement formed in reaction to the English-Only movement. Its intent is to promote greater acceptance of language diversity in the United States. States with English-Plus resolutions are: New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island and Washington.

Now what I find incredibly interesting is that the U.S. Naturalization process REQUIRES each applicant to be able to read, write and speak basic English. So why don’t we have English as our official language?

What do you think? The more I research this issue the more complicated it gets:
Work Visas include L-1 and H-B1. Green cards, naturalization, permanent residency, citizenship— what do each of these terms mean and how do they work together for the good of our country? Does anyone really know? The complex system seems out of control. Is it too late to simplify some things starting with one official language for our country?

What do you think?

Can’t let this frustration affect my FLURISHING. I wait to hear your thoughts.

“For as he thinks within himself, so he is.” Proverbs 23:7a New American Standard Bible

Shine on. . .
karan k

Labor of Love: Part I

“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” Genesis 2:15 New International Version

I recently spoke to a woman who’s struggling in her current employment. She asked for prayer. She enjoyed her former job immensely. Said she felt coworkers were more like a family than staff. But the company folded without warning and now she found herself in this new employment position simply so she could survive financially.

I also have a precious family member who’s been down this same traumatizing road of surprise job loss multiple times over the course of the last 15 years. The struggle is real and intense for many.

Perhaps you can relate or you know someone who can?

American workers normally spend 40 plus hours a week working at the same job. In the United Kingdom workers are considered full time after as little as 30 hours in some cases. German workers have 6 hour work days! The UK also has a ‘working time directive’ law limiting how many hours one can work in a certain time frame. Not a bad idea.

Africans can work up to 45 hours a week by law but not more. Australians typically have a 38 hour work week. In China, the hours for businessmen and women parallel the US and the UK, but the Chinese factory workers are less fortunate. It’s not unusual for them to work 16 or 17 hours each day 6 days a week!

In 2014 U.S. News reported German workers worked the least and Mexican workers labored the most during that calendar year. The U.S. fell somewhere in the middle. But as of this writing most countries are falling in line with the 40 hour work week standard with any hours beyond that considered overtime.

Work and the time spent traveling to and from make up the largest percentage of our waking hours for the longest chunk of our lives. It’s estimated that over 90,000 hours comprise the average workers time spent on the job during a lifetime. Add in travel time and roughly a third of our lives is devoted to work.

Let that sink in. Work is one third of our life!

Do we see the need to enjoy our work? God gave us the privilege of work because idleness is unhealthy for us. We need purpose to FLURISH and work is a part of that. We cannot FLURISH if we never enjoy our work.

Happy businessman sitting on chair in green field

Note Genesis 2:15, here God gives the care taking work of the garden to Adam. It is PRIOR to the Fall of Man. Work was NOT part of the curse. Work was designed to help fulfill us and enrich us. Work is actually a gift God gave us.

Does your work strike you as a gift?

Are you between jobs?

Or are you like the woman in the introduction who is now struggling to survive in a job she hates?

We will explore these questions and more next time. Until then ponder what your work means to you.

Shine on. . .
karan k

Ain’t No Fairy Tale: Part V

And now to hear another side of the Step-Family saga. From the child’s point of view; our daughter, Cortney:

“Being a child with divorced parents, having to go back forth every other weekend wasn’t easy. Reflecting back to that time I never understood until now (at 24 years old) how much it affected me. On one hand I had my dad’s house where there was structure, responsibility, and a Godly influence. Then I’d go to my mom’s house which mostly was a free for all. I could do whatever I wanted basically whenever I wanted. Having to make that mental switch every other weekend can really make it confusing for a child.

Then you throw a step-parent into the mix and it inevitably becomes more complicated! I’ve ALWAYS been a “Daddy’s Girl’ and when my dad met Karan, my step-mom, it turned my world upside down! I had to not only learn how to deal with my dad having another woman in his life but also where she’d fit into mine.

Those first couple of years were difficult. I had begun to build up a wall with dad and Karan because to be honest, I was angry inside! I felt like my thoughts and feelings didn’t matter. Still trying to deal with the fact that my parents were no longer together and the going back and forth, I now had to learn to deal with having a step-parent!!!

At that age I didn’t know how to express what I was feeling so what do most kids do. . . they act out. Now, I wouldn’t kick, scream, and throw a temper tantrum. My way of “acting out” was I would cop such a disgusted, leave me alone, do I really have to be here attitude! Ha. It’s funny looking back now at some old pictures I can see that attitude written all over my face. But when you’re a kid a lot of times you don’t know how to express your feelings.

If you’re a step-kid it may seem as though things will never be OK or normal but surprisingly one day you may realize that you can’t imagine your life without your step-parent, in my case my step-mom. I couldn’t have gotten through those awkward teenage years without her. I couldn’t have ever gone to half of the places I’ve been to without her nudging me to push through my fear and discomfort, and most of all I would have never had the most beautiful wedding a girl could dream of without her!

She’s filled those holes in my life my own mom just couldn’t/still can’t fill. She’s been like a mother and a best friend all rolled into one. When I need advice she’s there! When I just need to have a good venting session she’s there to listen! Yeah, it was tough in the beginning as you can tell from everything I wrote previously but my step-mom has been a HUGE blessing in my life. Honestly, I hate the term “step-mom”— BONUS mom is a better way to say it.”

Shine on. . .

karan k

Commercial Break

Just a teeny commercial break in our current series “Ain’t No Fairy Tale”. I decided to promote FLURISH after reading the devotional below. It was written by Sarah Young who is a missionary as well as a writer. Some think her writings are controversial, some love her writings. All I can tell you is I have found the following passage to be absolutely true! It is the heart of FLURISH, just expressed in a different, concise way.

Check it out.

“Live first and foremost in My Presence. Gradually you will become more aware of Me than of people and places around you. This awareness will not detract from your relationships with others. Instead, it will increase your ability to give love and encouragement to them. My Peace will permeate your words and demeanor. You will be active in the world, yet one step removed from it. You will not be easily shaken because My enveloping Presence buffers the blow of problems.
This is the path I have set before you. As you follow it wholeheartedly, you experience abundant Life and Peace.”
Sarah Young—- JESUS CALLING

Psalm 89:15-16; Psalm 16:8; II Peter 1:2

So what are your thoughts? Share in the COMMENT section.

Shine on. . .

karan k

Cell Slave

What would you consider to be your most treasured possession?
I took a poll recently to discover how some of you would answer that question. The following is a brief list of answers:

Paper Cash
Dan Wesson Pointman 9 Pistol
Kansas City Chiefs Autographs from 1971
Marine Medallion
Stuffed Black Lamb
Cards and Creations from Daughters
Guitar
Hydrosport Boat
Baseball Cards
College Diploma
Photograph Collection
Rare Trade Dollar Coin

All of these cherished items are fine in their proper place in our lives and minds.

The last three people gave the same answer—- Cell Phone. Consider with me that out of fifteen people three said their phone was the possession they prized the most. That’s a fifth of those questioned. Assuming for a moment this same poll was done on a much larger scale, do you think the results would differ? I’d venture to guess they would remain the same or increase in percentage for cell phones as the highest ranking answer.

Recently I lost my own cell phone somewhere in our house. My husband and I searched for it, calling it from his phone but we heard nothing. I used the Find My Phone app but it was too late, my phone battery was already dead and could not respond.

After a few days of searching, I concluded that God may have a lesson and possibly a blog post (tada!) in mind for this lost cell situation so I stopped searching.

I trusted HE knew exactly where my phone lay in hiding. I asked HIM to help me find it. I searched but to no avail. I concluded it was not yet time for the phone to be found.

Could you live for a month without your phone? A fifth of you may say “No Way.”

Cell phones like computers have become a staple in most of our lives. They perform innumerable functions so their value is great. They’re a portable tool for modern humanity that connects us globally beyond what our forefathers ever could have imagined. And yet we sometimes allow them to control us rather than using them responsibly.

“Do not put your trust in idols or make metal images of gods for yourselves. I am the LORD your God.” Leviticus 19:4

New Living Translation

How many times have you heard someone complain about how much time they wasted on Face Book, Instagram or some other Internet forum? It can be intoxicating and without our notice, addicting. We can become obsessive about having the phone with us at all times.

I found my phone at a very unlikely place 27 days after it went MIA. It was a forced technology fast but it was rather refreshing.

Have you ever considered a technology fast? I know people who do this regularly. If you find it easy for your phone to consume your time and energy in a negative way fasting a few days from phone/computer use can give you a right perspective on things. It can prevent your phone from becoming a coveted possession.

God wants our undivided attention and HE doesn’t want to share it with any type of idol even metallic technology. So be aware and take care not to be a cell slave.

Blacky, one of the only treasures this person has from childhood

“Before you knew God, you were slaves of gods that are not real. But now you know God, or better still, God knows you. How can you turn back and become the slaves of those weak and pitiful powers?” Galatians 4:8 + 9 Contemporary English Version

Shine on. . .

karan k

The Red Flag of Conscience

“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.” Isaiah 30:21 English Standard Version

Someone commented on my “Sin Still Happens” post about how nice it would be if we had a natural red flag warning system in our heads/hearts. I thought to myself we do each have a built-in red flag system called “Conscience”.

“The Lord gave us a mind and conscience; we cannot hide from ourselves.” Proverbs 20:27 Good News Translation

Do you think our conscience can be trusted?

I believe God cleverly engineered it into our very being. But do we bear any responsibility where conscience is concerned? Read on.

Merriam-Webster defines conscience as, “the sense or consciousness of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one’s own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good.”

A Google definition says conscience is “An inner feeling or voice viewed as acting as a guide to the rightness or wrongness of one’s behavior.”

Which definition do you think is correct—Webster’s or Google? Can you explain your answer?

I’d venture to say in my opinion, they are both correct. According to http://www.gotquestions.com, “The conscience is the servant of our own individual value system.”

So our value systems of belief start forming from what we are exposed to as children. We’re influenced by family, church or religious training, school, community, culture and friends. Each of us decides over time to choose from these experiences and exposures what we believe to be true. This makes up our individual value system which our conscience follows. So we must choose our truths wisely. Or. . . results could be disastrous.

Some people are actively engaged in this process of forming values and some are passive, believing whatever comes across their mind’s path. We know the mind is an incredible organ more intricate than any computer man can create. So shouldn’t we be concerned about the values we choose as input for our personal filter systems?

I think so. If we want to use our natural flag system, we need to be intentional. We need to examine the input in our value systems from our past and determine what stays and what must be deleted to line up with scripture.

As Christ followers we choose the moral code set out for us first in the Ten Commandments and then the rest of the written Word to be input for our value system. But we must know what the Word of God says before that data can be entered into the grid system of our conscience.

As children we are taught on a child’s level. As we grow we need to actively read and learn what the Word says to update the information in the memory banks of our conscience. Using the gift God gave us of a healthy mind we continue to process the scripture throughout our lives, always updating and adding information as well as experience.

If something learned from the past is wrong, we need to update it or delete it altogether. A constant check on our value system input.

Again from http://www.gotanswers.com, “An immature or weak value system produces a weak conscience, while a fully informed value system produces a strong sense of right or wrong. In the Christian life, one’s conscience can be driven by an inadequate understanding of scriptural truths and can produce feelings of guilt and shame disproportionate to the issues at hand. Maturing in the faith strengthens the conscience.”

So if we diligently maintain the data of our value system included in our conscience it will be strong and we can use it as a yellow flag of caution or direction. However, since it can only respond to what we choose to value, can we trust it wholeheartedly?

I would say, “No.” Because the reliability factor lies in how well we program and care for our conscience. Unlike God’s revealed Word, our conscience is changeable and fallible.

Some people simply neglect their conscience, believing it works automatically which certainly doesn’t lead to a healthy, reliable conscience. Each of us is responsible for programming, updating and cleaning our own conscience.

If we do the work to maintain our conscience (proper programming, updating and cleaning) then we can use it as a guide but even then it must pass the test of lining up with the ultimate flag system of God’s Holy Spirit and Word which will never contradict each other. So ongoing maintenance and subordination to God’s Word are the keys to a trustworthy conscience.

You cannot FLURISH without a purified conscience.

“How much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without blemish to God, purify our conscience from dead works to serve the living God.” Hebrews 9:14 English Standard Version

Shine on. . .

karan k

Blown Away

“So what makes us think we can escape if we ignore this great salvation that was first announced by the Lord Jesus Himself and then delivered to us by those who heard Him speak?” Hebrews 2:3 New Living Translation

Yesterday I decided to go for a walk around the neighborhood. The wind was brutal but the sun was shining. It felt good to feel the warmth of the sun and be pushed about by the strength of the wind. As I walked around the block, I noticed everyone’s bagged newspapers were blown out of their driveways. Ours was completely MIA. Some people feel these free newspapers are a nuisance and create more trash. They don’t even bother to pick them up to dispose of them properly. I like receiving mine every week and was disappointed that it had flown the coop.

I continued walking around the block three times, four times, five times etc., until about the ninth time I noticed a patch of common ground between the homes that had four newspapers strewn across it. I continued walking and the tenth time I noticed a fifth paper laying in the street near the four others in the common ground. I decided to pick it up since it could have been ours and didn’t belong in the street.

As I carried my treasure back to our house I thought to myself, these papers must have been stuck in this common ground area during my entire walk. Why had it taken me nine passes before I even noticed them?

Likewise, ever find yourself driving somewhere and after you arrive you have no recollection of the drive? You’re lost in thought, distracted, preoccupied with something seemingly more important than your surroundings. In this condition we miss things that are right in front of us. It’s a common occurrence but a dangerous one.

It’s also dangerous in the spiritual realm. Like those local freebie newspapers, the Good News of the Gospel is free to everyone but many in our society are not interested in the “free news”. They think our culture is already cluttered with too much Jesus news. They want to discard it as worthless just like the newspapers blown around my neighborhood.

It can be easy to slip into that same mindset swirling all around us. Pulled into thinking that suggests the Free Good News is too restrictive, false or no longer needed in this world geared toward humanistic belief systems and lifestyles. We may think we’d never ever consider discarding the precious Word, but do we neglect it and let it lay on the sidewalks of our mind behind all the pressing business of our day?

We must guard the living message of the Gospel of Christ to be effective for the Kingdom. It is the true power behind all that we do as believers. We must keep it close, pure and fresh in our hearts so we may encourage each other as times grow rough. So we may hand the Good News out freely whenever opportunity arises and hope is needed.

“Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and make me willing to obey You.” Psalm 51:12 New Living Translation

Don’t let the winds of life blow away your time in the Word but rather be blown away by the Good News of the Word.

“For this reason we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away from it.” Hebrews 2:1 New American Standard Bible

Shine on. . .
karan k

Read Hebrews chapter 4, just 16 verses of insight