Unbreakable Christmas Presents

What is your favorite Christmas present?

Our Pastor asked us yesterday what was our favorite Christmas present of all time? I sat and thought on it as he told a wonderful story from his childhood. He wanted a special match box car in the ’70s complete with sound.

Growing up with three older brothers most of my “Favorite Gifts” did not last long.

I received a pink and blue musical carousel that I absolutely loved the Christmas I turned four. You turned the knob on top and the horses began swirling in circles to a tinkling tune. It was so precious and gave me great joy, until that following Spring.

I took it outside with me and one of my brothers (not mentioning any names), submerged it in a bucket filled with water. Needless to say the horses never moved in circles and the music never played again. I remember crying a long time over that one.

A few years later, I asked for yet another wind up toy for Christmas.
A ‘Spudsie’ hot potato. You know the game where you wind him up and everyone throws him back and forth, (because he’s a HOT potato), until his alarm goes off and then that person is out of the game?

Ultra excited when I opened him on Christmas day. I couldn’t wait to wind him up and try him out. I coaxed my brothers to play ‘Spudsie’ with me but within five minutes one of them (again not mentioning any names), threw ‘Spudsie’ against the wall instead of to one of us. ‘Spudsie’ died quickly and lay in pieces on the floor. Hot tears streamed out of my eyes for my long awaited Hot Potato.

Both times there was no reprimand for the guilty brother or replacing of the broken toy by my parents. I learned the hard life lesson of loss and disappointment early.

But I survived and forgave my dear brother years ago. However, knowing of the story, my husband Dwight bought me a new “Spudsie” a few years ago. It made me laugh and cry and in a silly way provided some healing for the little Karan inside me.

“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of Your presence and the pleasures of living with You forever.” Psalm 16:11 New living Translation

So now my greatest Christmas present that never breaks or disappoints is what I ask for all of my friends and family to have and experience every day of this next New Year and beyond. . . The gift of the PRESENCE of God through His Holy Spirit on a daily basis! HE really is our All in All. He’s so much better than any other gift or even all the gifts of the world combined!

Praying for each of you to experience Him more and more!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

“Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, ‘I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5 New Living Translation

Shine On. . .
karan k

Commercial Break

Just a teeny commercial break in our current series “Ain’t No Fairy Tale”. I decided to promote FLURISH after reading the devotional below. It was written by Sarah Young who is a missionary as well as a writer. Some think her writings are controversial, some love her writings. All I can tell you is I have found the following passage to be absolutely true! It is the heart of FLURISH, just expressed in a different, concise way.

Check it out.

“Live first and foremost in My Presence. Gradually you will become more aware of Me than of people and places around you. This awareness will not detract from your relationships with others. Instead, it will increase your ability to give love and encouragement to them. My Peace will permeate your words and demeanor. You will be active in the world, yet one step removed from it. You will not be easily shaken because My enveloping Presence buffers the blow of problems.
This is the path I have set before you. As you follow it wholeheartedly, you experience abundant Life and Peace.”
Sarah Young—- JESUS CALLING

Psalm 89:15-16; Psalm 16:8; II Peter 1:2

So what are your thoughts? Share in the COMMENT section.

Shine on. . .

karan k

Ain’t No Fairy Tale: Part IV

Blended families. What sort of picture does that phrase create in your mind?

The Brady Bunch?
Cartoonish characters stuffed into a food processing machine?
A mismatched unhappy family pretending to be happy?
Or something else?

I will say that my experience as a blended family member turned out to be much better than I thought at the beginning. However, each family has its own set of variables. I was never good at math equations but even I know that the more variables in a given group the more complicated the equation. This is so true of blended families. Then throw in some unknowns and a few loose cannons into the mix and you got a real challenge.

If you read Part III of this series you may remember the staggering and sobering statistics concerning the failure rate for second and third marriages. With each marriage outside the original there is a possibility of multiple children from each parent and for sure there will be ex-spouses. Now multiply that times the number of re-marriages on each side. Its an explosion of personalities and drama.

All that to say that less is more. LESS marriages involved, MORE chance for success in the marriage you’re considering. Guess that’s why God hates divorce. HE knows all the pain involved and pain extrapolated into the future by remarriage. So please proceed with caution and much prayer.

My personal least favorite ride on the step-parent train was the weekly drive to and from the ex-wife to drop off and pick up our daughter for a visit. The ride could be unpleasant and saturated with anxiety. Dwight and I tried to do this together as much as possible to regularly strengthen our united front. And of course we never knew if we’d have to face any drama with the ex.

It’s extremely helpful to have a peaceful and cooperative relationship between the biological parents (IF at all possible) so important issues can be discussed and resolved for the child’s welfare. However, communication often is difficult between ex’s but your child is worth the effort. Any issues where both households can agree to be on the same page will greatly benefit your childs’ stability.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18 New International Version

Usually the two households involved in any split marriage are diametrically opposed and our situation was no exception. I had to brace myself every time we picked Cortney up especially after a weekend visit. There was always this adjustment period. Being in a different environment for several days definitely affected her attitude and who knows what else? I was just learning.

I was always glad when ‘our’ Cortney returned and acted the way we were accustomed to and it usually took a day or two to get to that sweet spot again. I wonder how bouncing back and forth between households has affected Cortney and countless others over the course of their young lives?

It definitely ‘Ain’t No Fairy Tale” for the children.

Shine on and stay tuned. . .

karan k

Ain’t No Fairy Tale: Part III

“But Ruth said, ‘Do not urge me to leave you or return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.’ ”

Ruth 1:16 English Standard Version

Children are completely at the mercy of whatever their parents decide. If their biological parents divorce, the child/children is always deeply wounded and has no way to protect themselves from the pain. Even in the most amicable divorces there is pain, trauma and transition for all involved, especially the children.

If one of both of the parents decide to remarry, the child is placed in yet another precarious tangle of emotions and transitions. Because of this, Step-Moms need to be aware that it can take up to two years for a child to adjust in the most positive scenarios. More time is needed depending on the character variables involved and the age of the child/children.

Be sensitive. Be patient. Time is needed. Understanding and gentleness are needed. As a Step-Mom you have to be the bigger person in stature as well as in character and maturity. Realize that the children are reacting out of this hurt and pain and it is not a personal attack on you. Let God’s grace soothe and strengthen you. It can be a time of tremendous opportunity for your growth and positive influence on these children.

And by all means REMEMBER that your husband is caught in the crossfire between wife, ex-wife and children. His stress levels are off the charts trying to juggle responsibilities, expectations and keep the peace. Told ya this AIN’T NO FAIRY TALE!

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16 English Standard Version

Being a successful Step-Mom is hard work. The odds are unevenly stacked against us in most cases. If you are not yet married and an official Step-Mom, count the cost carefully. Do not enter into this role of Step-Mom lightly. Truly it AIN’T NO FAIRY TALE!

Being a good Step-Mother is definitely a calling. You’re only fooling yourself if you think you can do it without the help of God. Don’t even try it on your own, there’s too much at stake. Consider these staggering statistics from the US Bureau of Census:

The average marriage in America lasts only 7 years.
One out of two marriages end in divorce.
75% remarry (creating new stepfamilies)
Over 50% of US families are remarried or recoupled.
2100 new stepfamilies form everyday

Divorce rate for second marriages when only one parent has children is 65%
When both partners have children divorce rate rises to 70%
Divorce rate for third marriages is 73%

The good news is with God ALL things are possible! (Matthew 19:26) I found myself in the 73% chance of divorce category. The Lord kept impressing on my heart not to be afraid of Cortney or of being her Step-Mom. And so I stepped out in faith to Step-Mothering.

That was 12 years ago and Cortney is grown and married now. I thought you may like to hear things from her side so stay tuned. . .

Shine on. . .
karan k

Ain’t No Fairy Tale: Part II

“Your WORD is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” Psalm 119:105 New Living Translation

Fear and Selfishness were my constant adversarial companions as I contemplated what I saw ahead of me. At this juncture I found myself genuinely head over heels in-love with a man, BUT he had an 11 year old daughter. Marriage was a package deal, my brain shouted at me as it ran ahead into the future. I could not get permanently involved without considering this precious child.

First thing was to get over my fear by submitting it to the Holy Spirit every time it tried to whisper sweet frightenings into my ears. I had to trust Him to guide me through the anxiety, the doubt, the second guessing, worries etc.,

Every time I took an attacking thought captive, the Holy Spirit strengthened my resolve and shed light on the correct path before me. Progress was moment by moment, painstakingly slow but the results were durably enduring.

I remember a particular incident early on in my relationship with my new daughter;

Dwight and I were taking her to a local festival during 4th of July week. We thought it would be fun and educational for Cortney. What a foolish thought. Cortney fought us from the gitgo by lagging far behind us in the admission line. She did not heed her father’s gentle pleading to give it a chance. She deliberately poked around and her facial expressions clearly screamed, “I Do Not Want to be Here!”

Entertaining and educational reenactments didn’t help.
Delicious food didn’t help.
Comedy shows didn’t help.
And oh my, she was too big for pony rides!

Frustrated we decided to leave after just a few hours but were not willing to give up. W e decided to take her to something she loved, a roller rink that had inline skating. Surely she would be happy there.

Dwight and I donned our old fashion roller-skates while Cortney laboriously put on her rollerblades. We skated carefully as a couple while Cortney sat sulking outside the rink. After 20 min or so she reluctantly entered the skating area. After 15 minutes she seemed to be flying around the rink enjoying herself, but later refused to admit it, of course. The little rascal!

It took half a day to pry a smile out of her and it didn’t last long but I counted it as a small seed of victory. These tiny triumphs are what step-moms need to move forward on the road to winning their child’s heart.

Practical Tips for Step-Moms:

*Build a strong union with your new spouse providing a safe, stable environment for the children.

*Never try to take the biological Mother’s place of your child/children.

*Get to know your new child/children, spend time learning about what they do and do not like.

*Be genuine, allow them to get to know you and see you realistically, flaws and all.

*Give your children choices when asking them to do something or make a decision.

*Ask God specifically for long-suffering with your children, not patience, or you will find yourself knee-deep in problems.

*Speak respectfully of your child/children’s biological parent, or say nothing.

*Let the child/children’s father lead in discipline.

I found these tips to work wonders where my relationship with Cortney was concerned. I hope they help any other struggling step-moms as well.

“These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children. . .” Titus 2:4 New Living Translation

Shine on. . .
karan k

Ain’t No Fairy Tale: Part I

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.” Matthew 5:9

One thing I NEVER EVER thought I would be was (cue drum roll), a Step Mother!
I grew up watching all the Disney animated features and the two that stuck in my brain the most were Cinderella and Snow White. These two stories each had a common villain robed in deceptive beauty, a Wicked Step-Mother.

So I kept my guard up whenever I spent time with a friend who had a step-mother. Although it was not prevalent in my childhood world of the 60s and 70s, today it’s all too common in families.

I made up my mind early in life that I could probably be open to adoption but not to step-parenting. I couldn’t bear the thought of sharing a husband’s affections with the memory of a former spouse or struggling for a spot in the heart of a child who already had a mother. Then there’s the difficult task of tiptoeing around a Daddy/Daughter relationship… LORD, help me! And HE did.

First of all I must say this became a FANTASTIC opportunity not only to grow as a person but also to nurture some spiritual fruit on my empty vine. Would I seize the opportunity or act like a spoiled child myself?

Have you ever been here? A place where you know the path will be difficult ahead but somehow good for you in the end? It’s so easy sometimes to run refusing to be stretched but I can tell you that a FLURISHING life needs times of intense stretching to become flexible like elastic. It’s much easier to maneuver through life like elastic than stiff unless you enjoy being broken over and over. Think about that until we continue the Step-Mother saga.

“Enlarge the site of your tent, stretch out the curtains of your dwellings, do not hold back. Lengthen your ropes and drive your stakes deep.” Isaiah 54:2 Berean Study Bible

Shine on. . .

karan k

Great Expectations Vlog

First assignment for Toast Masters.

Thought you fellow FLURISHERS might enjoy it.

Cell Slave

What would you consider to be your most treasured possession?
I took a poll recently to discover how some of you would answer that question. The following is a brief list of answers:

Paper Cash
Dan Wesson Pointman 9 Pistol
Kansas City Chiefs Autographs from 1971
Marine Medallion
Stuffed Black Lamb
Cards and Creations from Daughters
Guitar
Hydrosport Boat
Baseball Cards
College Diploma
Photograph Collection
Rare Trade Dollar Coin

All of these cherished items are fine in their proper place in our lives and minds.

The last three people gave the same answer—- Cell Phone. Consider with me that out of fifteen people three said their phone was the possession they prized the most. That’s a fifth of those questioned. Assuming for a moment this same poll was done on a much larger scale, do you think the results would differ? I’d venture to guess they would remain the same or increase in percentage for cell phones as the highest ranking answer.

Recently I lost my own cell phone somewhere in our house. My husband and I searched for it, calling it from his phone but we heard nothing. I used the Find My Phone app but it was too late, my phone battery was already dead and could not respond.

After a few days of searching, I concluded that God may have a lesson and possibly a blog post (tada!) in mind for this lost cell situation so I stopped searching.

I trusted HE knew exactly where my phone lay in hiding. I asked HIM to help me find it. I searched but to no avail. I concluded it was not yet time for the phone to be found.

Could you live for a month without your phone? A fifth of you may say “No Way.”

Cell phones like computers have become a staple in most of our lives. They perform innumerable functions so their value is great. They’re a portable tool for modern humanity that connects us globally beyond what our forefathers ever could have imagined. And yet we sometimes allow them to control us rather than using them responsibly.

“Do not put your trust in idols or make metal images of gods for yourselves. I am the LORD your God.” Leviticus 19:4

New Living Translation

How many times have you heard someone complain about how much time they wasted on Face Book, Instagram or some other Internet forum? It can be intoxicating and without our notice, addicting. We can become obsessive about having the phone with us at all times.

I found my phone at a very unlikely place 27 days after it went MIA. It was a forced technology fast but it was rather refreshing.

Have you ever considered a technology fast? I know people who do this regularly. If you find it easy for your phone to consume your time and energy in a negative way fasting a few days from phone/computer use can give you a right perspective on things. It can prevent your phone from becoming a coveted possession.

God wants our undivided attention and HE doesn’t want to share it with any type of idol even metallic technology. So be aware and take care not to be a cell slave.

Blacky, one of the only treasures this person has from childhood

“Before you knew God, you were slaves of gods that are not real. But now you know God, or better still, God knows you. How can you turn back and become the slaves of those weak and pitiful powers?” Galatians 4:8 + 9 Contemporary English Version

Shine on. . .

karan k

Well Known/Well Used?

How many of you honestly enjoy your daily life? Are you truly FLURISHING? We all have ups and downs, difficulties and challenges but underlying it all, do you feel good, do you sense the peace of God that passes ALL understanding? Do you have a private joy in the depths of your soul?

I have just come through a long depression that lasted about 5 months. It most likely was triggered by the death of my mother back on New Year’s Day. Could have been the grieving process? I may never know but it has been a difficult year. I leaned on familiar passages of scripture and continued trusting in the loving kindness of my heavenly Father. There were good days, blah days, tired days, unmotivated days and horrible days within my soul. Yet, as I kept looking to Him HE WAS EVER FAITHFUL!!!

I am here today to encourage you not to give up seeking the face of God amidst whatever you may be experiencing. This is the purpose of my blog, to remind you that HE is ever faithful and wants to be close to you and experience all of your “stuff” with you. HE wants the best life possible for you, the abundant FLURISHING life HE knows is possible for each of HIS children.

So, all that being said if you know these verses listed below, don’t just pass them by. USE them and BELIEVE them for your current situation. They may be well known but if they are not well used they will not help you.

And, if the verses are new to you, read them over and over allowing them to sink into your heart and memory so you can use them when needed. His Word is quick and powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword. He is alive in these Words so USE it, that’s why HE gave it to us.

If you are FLURISHING currently, don’t forget to praise God for the blessing. Thank Him for His goodness in your life.

“Enter His gates with thanksgiving; go into His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him and praise His Name.” Psalm 100:4 New Living Translation

If things are rough going at the moment, cry out to Him for help.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” II Corinthians 1:3 + 4 New International Version

If you are tired, burned out from exhaustion, come to Him for strength and let Him help you with your load.

“Take My yoke upon you. Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:29 New Living Translation

If you feel blah and lack motivation call on His name to renew your zeal and revive your spirit.

“But those who trust the LORD will find new strength. They will be strong like eagles soaring upward on wings; they will walk and run without getting tired.” Isaiah 40:31 Contemporary English Version

If you are overcome by sin and guilt, talk to Him, confess your sin and depend upon His mercy which endures forever.

“But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” I John 1:9 New Living Translation

Read about His mercy in Psalm 136

REMEMBER:

“For the Word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than any two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” Hebrews 4:12 New Living Translation

Shine on. . .

karan k

“Never, Never, Never Give up on God! If HE helps me, He will help you.” A combined quote from Winston Churchill + me

Post Conference Reflection Ramblings: Part III Wrap Up

Ten minutes before the start of the Conference, I stood in the Pastor’s study as he and Dwight prayed for God to use me that night. My God-focus generated confidence and energy within me as we opened the session with Praise and Worship. The last song was one I requested and it felt like the Spirit of God was blessing our time together from the start.

The Pastors wife introduced me and I breathed a quick, “Here we Go, Lord” and walked to the podium. This time I was not flat! I could feel the Holy Spirit’s empowerment. There was excitement and expectation in the air as I began. The audience responded well to the message and participated throughout the conference.

The one screen issue forced some added exercise for the ladies to turn around every so often but perhaps that was not a bad thing? Kept everyone awake.

Dwight running powerpoint from sound booth

After the first night I had several women tell me it was an inspiring message. There were two older ladies well past retirement age who remain active in YWAM and encouraged me the most. The oldest one, an 80 year old woman told me the message and time spent together was “cleansing”. She had never been able to share and unload some parts of her life with any Christian community up until this conference. That alone was worth it all! To be a blessing in this way to a loyal saint of God still touches my heart every time I think of her.

There were several others who asked for prayer afterward. I pray all the women in attendance received one new thing the Lord revealed to them about Himself and their relationship with Him during our time together. I further pray that they continue to allow His healing in their hearts.

We ended the conference with a lovely fellowship meal. A beautiful woman named Gricelda cooked all the food for the conference. She had a squad of ladies assisting her, busy slicing fruit and preparing desserts. She and her team did a fabulous job. They made me love authentic Mexican food like I never fathomed possible for me, a Pennsylvania Dutch girl.

Gricelda, you made a believer out of me!

And so dear fellow FLURISHERS those are the highlights of the 2018 Christian Women’s Conference from Tyler, Texas. Until the Lord opens new opportunities,

Shine on. . .

karan k